An Elf Surprise
by AKWYLD
Summary: OK, what if you wanted to give the ultimate birthday present for your best friend, which is an Elf, and you had absolutely NO idea or what so ever where to get it from, and suddenly you would find it in your room?... REVIEW!
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Hello my dear friends! I have finally thought of something to write at this web site and I am really excited about that. I really hope that you will find this story interesting, but even if not I would like to ask you to review it, since it is very important for me to know what it's like for you to read it. So, here comes nothing.  
  
I own NOTHING!!!! I am just borrowing Legolas : )  
  
Chapter one  
  
I was walking on my way home from school, pondering really hard about what present should I give my best friend on her birthday that was due next week. I was happy that I promised her in my heart to give her a really wild present and the one that she'll never forget, but on the other hand I was feeling REALLY depressed that I still hasn't found anything good enough for her yet and that I was running out of time to find her something. I'm sure that she's is sick of getting picture frames, pillows and other pop crap all the time from her friends, so I was sure thinking of giving her something totally and completely different, she was my best friend after all.  
  
I have once asked her what would be the ultimate birthday present for her, and she answered me half joking and half serious (I'm pretty sure it was the biggest half) that it should be Legolas the Greenleaf, and after she'll have him, she'll do all the rest, something that wasn't too hard to guess...  
  
OK, now where the hell am I supposed to find her Legolas, huh?! I was thinking about getting a guy that would look EXACTLY like him, them dress him as an elf and ask him REALLY nicely to come to my friend's birthday party, but I was too afraid that she would totally rape the poor guy, and after finding out that it wasn't really Him, she would practically slaughter me, and in that case I would lose my best friend, or my life, but probably both. Hmm, definitely not a condition that would suit me, no. Great! What on earth am I supposed to do?! Dig a hole all the way to middle earth and drag him to our world?! I'm pretty sure the poor elf would freak!. I mean, after he'll see our world in comparison to their beautiful world, he would probably think this: "Damn! What a demented world I'm at! Why on earth did I ever come here?! I feel such grief!" And the next thing you know, he'll be dead, 'cause one of the things that elves are dying from is grief. I surely don't want this to happen! If you really think about it, we are sure having a quite sick world, especially in comparison to Middle Earth, where everything is so beautiful, no offence.  
  
Since I was pondering too much again, I almost walked into a tree. The noise that "woke" me up was my dog's barking, since I almost reached home. Now, it's not that it is unusual whenever my dog is barking, no, it's just that my dog sounded a bit TOO aggressive. It sounded as if there is a stranger in my house. When I got near my house door and entered the back yard, I saw that my dog was practically attacking the door and was really hard trying to break it and to get inside and kill the intruder or who ever my dog could see. Since I was sure that my dog has seen another ghost or something like that, I calmed him down and told him "Don't worry, it's OK, there are NO ghosts in the house, so please, shut up!" and then I told him to find some bug and chase it. Luckily my dog did whatever I told him, so I got into the house and closed the door behind me.  
  
First thing I did was opening a fridge and check out what did my folks left me for lunch. While I was searching for food, I heard some weird noises upstairs, so I immediately thought that this time my dog saw no ghosts and that there WAS some stranger in the house. I decided to grab a fork, just in case, and got upstairs. I've searched all the bedrooms, until I've finally got to my room. While I was walking slowly backwards to check just incase that no one was following me, I accidentally bumped into something, or into someone to be more exact. I turned around, holding my "weapon" very high, just in case as I have said before, and was TOTALLY paralyzed. It couldn't be him, but it was. It was LEGOLAS!!!!!..  
  
A/N: Well, this is all for this chapter, my dear readers. I'm sure you wanted some more interesting things, but this shall come in the next chapters. Right now I want to read your reviews and to be sure that it is safe to put some new chapters in here. Please review. Yours, AKWYLD. 


	2. chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for your beautiful reviews that filled my heart with joy! Well, I guess that now I am ready to post the second chapter, so here goes nothing. ENJOY!!!!  
  
Chapter Two  
  
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By the name of Gondor, Rohan, Rivendell, Lothlorien, The Shire and all the rest of the beautiful places in Middle Earth NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HIM!!! HERE!!!! IN MY ROOM! LEGOLAS! ELF!!!!! LEGOLAS THE ELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOO WAY!!!!! OH GOD!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! Ok, Jen, Chill, it's OK, just pinch yourself.. OW!!!! Oh My God!!! That pain is REAL!!!!!! LEGOLAS IS.. IN MY ROOM!!!!! MY FRIENDS WILL DIE FROM JELOUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAH!!!!! I CAN SEE THEM!!!!!!!!!! I was staring at his golden hair, his blue eyes, and he already had a sword, and looked REALLY cute in these clothes! He should wear LEATHER!!!!  
  
After about 10 minutes of standing paralyzed in my room, the silence has finally broke: "Are you going to eat me with that fork, dear maiden?" Gently asked the Elf. Ooh! Dear maiden!!!! He actually called me "DEAR MAIDEN"!!!  
  
"Ffffffork? You, master Elf? Wwwhat fork?.. ME?.." I muttered still gazing at the Elf. The he pointed to my left and showed the fork that I was still holding high.  
  
"Oh" I said, quickly putting my hand down before he'll change his mind and think that I am trying to murder him with my fork, even though I was thinking of murdering, but not him.  
  
"No, of coarse not! I.. How did you.. Where did you... How did you.." I asked in a misunderstanding voice.  
  
"Get here?" asked the Elf "Well, I do not know!!! Where am I, pray tell me that, dear maiden!. I have opened the door into some room of the house of Elrond and.. Got here!. Do you know Elrond by the way?." He asked in a curios voice.  
  
"Of coarse! I have heard of him!" I said in a merry voice.  
  
"Are you a friend or a foe of his?. And in case you are a friend, please, can you bring me back to his house?." Said the Elf almost begging. OOOH!!!!!! A BEGGING Elf!!! My friends would DIE to see him like that! I thought of making him beg on his knees and then to tell him that I would think about, but then he would probably think that I am a foe, which I am SO not!  
  
"Well, I am NOT a foe, but niether a friend of Elrond (unfortunately), And I do not know how to bring you back there, sorry." I said in a fake apologizing voice."But please!!! Do not feel grief!!! I am sure we will think of some way to get you back to Elrond's crib, and I am sure you will be back there for sure! And I hope it will happen as soon as possible!" I lied. Then I thought of the present and quickly added: "But it will not happen soon I'm afraid. Well, not like till next week orsomething. Listen, while you are here for the next week and I am sure you don't want to be bored, can you PLEASE do me a little tiny favor?." I said with a big smile on my face.  
  
"Crib?." he asked surprised.  
  
"House." I said. "Oh. Well, I guess I can, I mean I have to do something and to survive somehow in this unknown place, I guess I can do that. Is it a deadly task?" asked the Elf.  
  
"No, I mean I don't know, probably not." Probably YES! Lots of screaming horny girls crushing poor Legolas and screaming "MINE! MINE! MINE!"...  
  
"What do you mean?." he asked in a suspicious voice.  
  
"Well, can you come to my best friend's birthday party and surt of surprise her with with a Happy Birthday greeting?. She would really appriciate that!." I asked him nicely again with that wide smile on my face.  
  
"Well, I guess that doesn't sound fatal!. I hope she doesn't bite?!." Said the Elf laughing.  
  
"No, of coarse not!" Oh yes she might, when all of the sudden she'll start to rape him with all the rest of the girls in the party! "Oh! I haven't introduced myself yet! I am Legolas!" he said in a noble voice,but the voice still sounding like beautiful music.  
  
"I know who you are. And I am not an orc." I said.  
  
"I've noticed that. If you would be an orc, you would kill me. Besides, you don't even look like one. What is thy name, dear maiden?"  
  
"Ah, Jennifer. Jennifer Ramsey. But you may call me Jen, master Elf" I said.  
  
"Then in that case, Jen, you may call me Legolas." He said smiling.  
  
"Thanks." I muttered.  
  
"So what is this place? It looks so different from home! Is it still Middle earth?." He asked.  
  
"No, it's WAY outside Middle Earth. It is Earth. Planet Earth. In a galaxy and all." I answered.  
  
"In a WHAT?." he asked in a frightened voice.  
  
"A galaxy. Well, it is a different world anyway. I shall tell you that later." I said. "I think we'd better go down and find something to eat. Are you hungry?" I asked him.  
  
"Yes, a bit." answered Legolas.  
  
"Good! Shall we go then?." and showed him the way out of my room.  
  
When we were at the corridor, he told me something that almost made me die from laughter, but I tried hard not to laugh in front of him so that I won't hurt his Elvish feelings.  
  
"While I was here alone, I happened to enter some room with light blue tiles, and in that room I saw something low and round in white color. It was smooth and had some circle on it and the lid was open. At the bottom there was some water and on the top was some button, so I pressed it. You have a very unique kind of small waterfalls! That was very amusing! Is it some kind of a mechanical small waterfall? I didn't know there are waterfalls that can be kept inside the house! But it is quite small to bathe in it.." he said in an amused voice. That's how I found out that he has already reached the toilet.. God! A WATERFALL?. LOL!!!! "No!!! That is not a waterfall!!! And I hope you haven't bathe yourself there!. It is a Toilet. You answer your nature's call there." I said trying hard not to laugh.  
  
"What call?." he asked.  
  
"Ah, well.. When you go to some quiet and lonely place and  
release  
some liquids and maybe even more?.." I said with hope that  
he'll  
understand what did I mean.  
  
"Oh, yes! Of coarse! It's just that it is different from this "Toi" thing!. And I haven't bathed in it!." he said.  
  
"I'm sure it is!" Thank God he got the message!!!!..  
  
We were going down the stairs, when all of the sudden I heard a knock on the door..  
  
A/N: Well my dear readers, that is all. Please REVIEW and be patient.  
Yours, AKWYLD 


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